The most beautiful thing happens when you look back on your memories. Situations that once seemed like an insurmountable challenge, bloom into the moments that you draw strength to overcome your biggest fears.
After three and a half years, Pete had finished graduate school and started his job as a Physical Therapist. I decided to make a career change where I could have more flexibility with my schedule and also nurture education in a professional setting.
My heart had changed over the years as I worked as a teacher. While I was teaching, there were moments where I was unsure of our parental abilities. After I made my career shift, I began to consider what the future of our relationship would look like and if that involved children.
Thinking back on my time as a Kindergarten teacher, I was often asked I was a parent. I would reply that I was not, and many seemed surprised. I had grown connected and attached to many of my students. I found myself worried for them and wishing the best for their futures.
My time as a teacher was filled with both great and trying moments. At one time, my husband asked me if I ever had the opportunity to adopt one of my students if I would.
It was then that it dawned on me.
If I could fall into caring deeply about my students, I could open my heart to a child.
Perhaps adoption wasn’t as scary as I had assumed.
So I researched and the faces of these children seemed to reach through my screen and tugged at my heartstrings. There were so many that needed a home, but I knew that God had a plan for our child and so I kept trying to learn more.
There were many people I knew who had adopted through our church and so I asked for referrals. There were many unanswered questions and I wanted to feel comfortable asking them to my Social Worker.
I was thankfully referred to our wonderful Social Worker and we began the endless mounds of paperwork. But I kept trusting and believing it was worth it. Just so I could hold on to my little boy or little girls hands and teach them about the world and how to love.
In January of 2018, we met with our social worker, a fantastic woman who had helped another church member through a Korean international adoption. After much consideration, we determined that a Philippino adoption would make the most sense for us for a variety of reasons.
The truth is that I needed a child more than they needed me. I could provide a loving home, but they could touch my heart and teach me to open myself up to care in a way that I had and have not known before.
I was eager to keep the process moving, but there was so much more ahead of us.